Everything you need to know about visiting a new mom
The first few weeks of motherhood can be overwhelming enough without having to worry about how you’ll manage all that comes with it - from showers and vacuuming carpets, preparing meals or even just taking care your hair. No doubt new moms need someone on their side during this time but what if there are those who only want us looking worse than before?
It can be hard to have others over to your home when you are a mom. This is because you might feel like you have to entertain them and hold a conversation. Here are some tips for friends and family on how they can help mom without making her feel overwhelmed:
12 rules to follow when visiting a new mom
1. Ask for a good time to visit
Every new mom sets her own timeline of when she feels ready to accept visitors. She might be ready to see you as soon as she leaves the hospital, or a few weeks later after she's more settled in.
Friendships are always evolving, and it's important to remember that your friend may have her reasons for holding back. She might want the opportunity bond with you more before sharing what she has been going through as well as spreading out resources over time so they don't run dry all at once!
I appreciated my early visitors but felt grateful too when friends came later in those initial weeks after giving birth because even if I needed help then - no matter how temporary- having company helped make things better faster by filling any loneliness or isolationists feelings we sometimes get away from our loved ones who cannot reach us on an emotional level
2. Call ahead to see if she needs anything
Give your friend a call before visiting her in-person. Inform her that you are at the store and see if she needs any items from there, such as baby products or grocery necessities like honey for tea!
3. Follow her rules without comment
New moms have a lot of rules that visitors need to follow. From removal of shoes and hand sanitizer, not rocking the baby asleep- there are many preferences for how new mothers care about their babies - even when it goes against what you want as an experienced mother!
The best thing any person can do? Respect her choices because this is ultimately hers too; she's made strides in getting where she wants with him/her already while juggling life responsibilities like cooking dinner every night (or weekend). It may seem hard at first but give yourself time before commenting on how different things were beforehand
4. Offer or ask what chores need to be done
Helping a person clean can feel awkward at first, but it's worth offering to do your share of chores. You might ask if you have permission in order for the both of you start unloading her list off tasks that need completing so she doesn't feel overwhelmed with work all alone while also making sure no one takes advantage by cleaning up after themselves without thanks (especially since many people find this kind act embarrassing).
If she minds, then that’s her business but most moms will likely not care if others do their chores and appreciate the gesture much more. A few suggestions include:
- Loading and unloading dishwashers Emptying trash cans Wiping surfaces folded laundry (it can even be baby's!). Getting mail feeding or walking dogs
5. Ask if she’d like to sleep or step out of the house while you watch the baby
Some moms might feel like they have to be with you since you’re in their home. But ask your friend if she’d like to sleep, take a shower, run an errand, or even take a walk alone, reassuring her you’re on baby duty.
Regardless of when you care for him, commit to do it all the way, from changing dirty diapers to soothing his cries. Don’t “take care” of him only when he’s calm or asleep, only to pass him back to her if he’s crying. See if you can calm him down first and only flag her if he’s inconsolable.
6. Bring food
Besides cleaning her home, the other essential a new mom needs is food. She needs to eat, after all. If you’re visiting a new mom, make sure you come bearing food.
Had you visited any other time, your friend would likely have offered you a meal. After all, we usually eat when we’re invited to someone’s home.
But in this case, don’t expect her to prepare something to eat, even a small snack. If you think you’ll need to eat, bring enough food for the both of you, like a casserole you can eat together.
7. Bring entertainment
I didn’t have television when my eldest was born, so, as much as I thought of myself as anti-TV, I felt isolated from “the real world.” So, when people brought movies, trash magazines and DVDs, I was in heaven. Call it escapism, but I loved reading and watching things that had nothing to do with a baby.
If you’re short on ideas on what to bring your friend, you can’t go wrong with entertainment. Every mom needs her escape and a way to pass the time.
8. Bring hand-me-downs
New moms love hand-me-downs, from clothes to gear to children’s books. I relied so much on hand-me-downs as a way to trim my budget.
Before you bring anything though, ask your friend if she’d like to have them in the first place. Not all moms need hand-me-downs, or already have plenty enough. You’ll save yourself the trouble of bringing these items (especially large ones).
9. Ask before posting a picture online
We live in a social media world, one where we don’t bat an eye at posting selfies and check-ins. But when it comes to your friend’s new baby, always ask before posting a picture of him online.
Because if she’s like me, she may feel wary about having her baby’s photo out in the world wide web. Even if she has shared photos of him on her Facebook page, she may not feel comfortable having others do the same.
Instead, ask. If not, don’t hold it against her and keep the photo on your phone.
Conclusion paragraph: If you’re looking for the perfect gift for a new mom, or just want to show your support, we highly recommend checking out Calmamama. Our organic drops and balms are some of the best on the market, and they work wonders on everything from postpartum pain to sleepless nights. Not only do they help soothe Mommy (and baby), but they also come in beautiful, hand-crafted packaging that is perfect for any occasion. So why not show your favorite new mom some love by picking up a bottle of Calmamama today?