Easy Fix

With me, there is no easy fix for my anxiety.  I've been navigating it since I was about nine years old.  I recently looked back through old journals and realized:  The things that I was doing in my early 20's are the things that I still do today in my mid thirties.  They've become more intrinsic as parts of my life - but my anxiety hasn't been eradicated, I am just learning to accept it and work with it.

The things I do to maintain calm aren't trendy or luxurious, and I am not spoiling myself, they are survival mechanisms that help me keep my intense panic at bay – and they work, at least most of the time.

I drink water.  More water. Dehydration triggers physical symptoms and, in general, anything physical makes me freak out.

I eat regularly.  I am crazy blood sugar sensitive. And if I wait too long to eat I am anxious before, during and after I eat, all the way until my blood sugar stabilizes. That sucks.

I exercise.  Or move a bit at least.  Even a few jumping jacks.  I know that chemicals and hormones pool and sit in my body.  I need to flush them around and out or I get funky.

I take vitamin B12 and D3.  Because I am deficient in them, I try to take these two supplements.  I need every leg up I can get.

I go to the therapist.  More then half of the time I don't want to go.  But I keep at it.  Because I made a promise to myself to keep working on myself.

I sleep.  Honestly, I try.  I love sleep so much, but I also love working and have little kids. And I have guilt for sleeping and fear of missing out. But I also know that sleep deprivation is one hell of a trigger for anxiety.

I say fuck it.  Loudly. One of my greatest difficulties is seeing my own worth as a human being not a human doing.  I hold the deep belief that my worth is measured in accomplishments.  I am trying to move away from this  every damn day.

I create community.  This means seeing people even when I don't want to.  Opening up and sharing and asking questions and most of all being vulnerable.

I eat chocolate.  Because it makes me happy and I can literally feel my shoulders soften.

I schedule. Because there is something to be said for humans and predictability.  We like it.  Even if we say we don't.

I write.  Even when I judge it, even when I don't want to. It's just a part of the flow of living. A way to process all of the things that fit into a life.

I still have panic attacks and they can sometimes shake me deeply.  But mostly, these tricks make life a bit easier.  And Calm Drops in the moment – developed for myself, and now shared with the world.  Like my story.