The calmamama guide to better toddler communication
We all want to do what’s best for our kids, but sometimes we parents can say the wrong thing. When you become a parent your tone changes from being professional and ensuring no harm is done into just trying not only guide them in life but also help build up their self-esteem when needed most—or taking away bad habits like addiction or abuse might be too late! Below I've highlighted some common phrases said by mothers which have been reported as either effective lowering of stress levels among other things (with approval) along side examples on how these very same words could create unintentional problems if used incorrectly.
“It’s not a big deal.”
Developmental psychologists will tell you that it is important not to invalidate your toddler's feelings. They need their emotions validated in order for them feel safe enough with adults, which leads onto the next point...
A relationship where teens can open up and talk freely should be avoided at all costs if we want true intimacy between parent/child later on down through adulthood!
Instead of getting into an argument with your child about the dog drooling on his favorite superhero cape, try asking him how he feels when this happens. You can also talk to them about anger management and ways they might be able take care their emotional needs in order not let those feelings get out control so that it doesn't affect other areas such as schoolwork or social interactions.
“You’re so smart.”
Just like parents feel horrible when they can’t give their children enough verbal praise, kids also want to be recognized for doing things right. So while it may seem natural and easy at first glance to verbally pat our children on the back or make some other kind gesture as encouragement by giving them recognition that labels what was done instead of how well endeavor were successful—you risk creating a “praise junkie" if you do this often!
One way to foster a growth mindset is by avoiding comparisons. Researcher Carol Dweck found that kids develop either “fixed” or "growth" mindsets, where those with fixed belief systems believe their potentials are capped and they avoid challenges which tests them abilities while those who hold onto the idea of becoming better over time have what's called 'growing' Mindset . To encourage this type , you should celebrate process rather than person— say things like: 'You got here after trying many different approaches; good job!' Or tell your student she has been practicing quite hard-I can see how much work went into getting great results!
“How many times do I have to tell you?”
The one with an irritated sigh is usually accompanied by a frustrated expression on our face. We know it's hard to remember the things they ask for, and sometimes you think your brain has become Teflon because nothing seems to stick in their heads no matter how many times we tell them! But don't worry--their brains work differently than ours so if something doesn’t make sense or needs more explanation then just try again patiently waiting until she/he gets back around before giving up completely
“Be a big boy/girl.”
When you say this, it means something else entirely. You might want your child to stop whining or fighting - but more importantly than anything else is that they need some positive feedback! It's so easy for parents' anger towards their kids bubble up when we're frustrated with them because those are the only words our little ones understand at times like these- "be big!" seems intended as an instruction rather then encouragement...
“Don’t be sad.”
It's natural to want to make people happy when they're unhappy, but by telling them "stop feeling" instead of teaching how face their emotions in the future will only equip you for failure.
Helping a child feel happy again may offer immediate relief for parent and chid, but it doesn't help them in the long run. Instead of giving up on your kids when they are feeling down or angry about something that has happened to make him sad--psychologist Susan David suggests helping out by going through his emotions with them so you can validate what he's experiencing while also labeling these feelings appropriately before guiding him towards seeing how things will get better eventually no matter how bad today feels right now!
It's no surprise that your toddler can make you feel like the world is against them. They are experts at slowing down anything and everything, including their own peers! The best thing we moms do when our children act this way? We let it go - because sometimes 'children' just need time to finish what they start without being pressed for results all of sudden- which means if there was something important on task (like homework), then waiting will show greater patience than yelling or getting frustrated with how slow these little ones seem nowadays anyway :)